My own Bernie Madoff
Update (January 11, 2010): In September, I received information about a company (My Free Travel) who was assuming the program, provided we send in a $10 processing fee. With not much to lose at this point, and interested in following this hopeless proposition to the bitter end, I did.
Of course, after three months of mailing in receipts, nothing was ever sent our way. Today I got my latest batch of receipts back in the mail with a “Return to sender/no forwarding address” sticker affixed. The company’s website is down, their customer support voicemail is full, and the Chicago BBB reports that the company closed its doors on December 17, 2009. The BBB has received over 900 complaints thus far.
The amount of self-delusion that was worked up in support of this program is staggering. I feel most sorry for the local retailers who took part in this. I’ll give our local participant, Slim’s Home Furnishings, a friendly rejoinder but I doubt that others will be as kind.
After moving back to Wahpeton and finding ourselves with more space than furniture, I was persuaded to purchase another couch. Incentive was provided by Arielle’s own unique way of prying my wallet open as well as the local furniture store, which was heavily advertising a free grocery program whereby one could receive $500 worth of gift cards at a local supermarket after making a purchase of $600 or more.
The catch? The $500 was doled out over 20 months in $25 increments. And you had to mail in grocery store receipts totaling over $100 to get the card for that month, whoring out your shopping habits to the lowest class of marketers who try to read all too much meaning in the simultaneous purchase of cucumbers, duct tape, and twine.
Still, it’s a small compromise of privacy (I shudder to think what sort of trail I left behind in the Giant Eagle databases in Pittsburgh) for a modest gain.
Dutifully, I mailed my receipts in each month, eagerly awaiting the arrival of each corresponding card.
I waited.
And I waited.
Finally, at the end of the prescribed 12-week waiting period, I fired up my email client to send a passive-aggresive letter of inquiry and complaint to this increasingly non-responsive company. Though the timing was a happy coincidence, I was not altogether surprised to see this waiting for me:
Subject: Press Release
BBZ Resource Management, Inc. announced today that it has filed for Chapter 11 reorganization in order to preserve the value of its business for its creditors. BBZ also announced that immediately prior to its Chapter 11 filing, it entered into a new strategic relationship in order to preserve and maximize the value of its data mining business for the benefit of its creditors, business partners and other stakeholders.
BBZ’s historical business involved both the sale of rebate certificates and the accumulation and use of consumer data. Recent events surrounding BBZ’s rebate certificate business necessitated BBZ’s Chapter 11 filing. Early in 2009, BBZ entered into a 15-year contract with Kidz Idz, Inc. to purchase $345 million of rebate certificates from BBZ. Kidz Idz’ performance under this contract was personally guaranteed by Michael Pouls, the owner of Kidz Idz. Relying upon that contract, BBZ entered into a long-term lease for a new fulfillment facility and hired new employees to deal with the exploding demand for the rebate certificates that BBZ sold. Rather than honor that contract, however, Kidz Idz and Mr. Pouls not only breached their obligations but also undertook what BBZ believes to be concerted campaign to co-opt the rebate certificate business and destroy BBZ. This effort culminated with the Pouls Parties filing a lawsuit on Thursday, June 25, 2009 falsely asserting that BBZ’s business is a fraudulent “Ponzi” scheme. Ironically, that same day BBZ was working with outside counsel to prepare its own lawsuit against the Pouls Parties asserting their breaches of contract and other wrongful conduct.
The damage to BBZs rebate certificate business from the Pouls Parties’ conduct made it imperative that BBZ act to protect its consumer data mining business for the benefit of its creditors, business partners and other stakeholders. Accordingly, BBZ has entered into a contract with an industry leader to take that business forward in exchange for BBZ receiving a share of the business’s revenues. This new relationship will form the foundation of BBZ’s anticipated Chapter 11 plan of reorganization.
In the meantime, BBZ has suspended sales, activations, and redemption of rebate certificates, as well as gift card distribution. Consumers awaiting gift cards or holding certificates are encouraged not to contact the businesses or brokers that sold or gave away the certificates, as suspension of this program is beyond their control. BBZ is committed to honoring its obligations and will be working diligently with its outside professionals in the Chapter 11 process to maximize the return to its creditors.
BBZ is a bit disingenuous about their position.
I did some more research on BBZ, who is now operating under the name “Incentive International” and uncovered what a delicious mess this whole ordeal is. They also sold this program as a way to get free gas and gift cards for big-box retailers. Countless car dealerships across the country used it as a way to prop up failing sales and one major furniture store, Ashley Furniture, is under threat of a class-action lawsuit from disgruntled customers for their participation in the program.
BBZ has apparently fallen behind by some 100,000 cards and has started to lay off workers. One can easily imagine the sinking feeling that must have greeted the rank-and-file each day as they were deluged with emails, phone calls, and letters from irate customers.
It’s hard to blame the retailers for their willful blindness when they bought into this. “Free” is a powerful word, and adding the word “groceries”, or, especially, “gas” after it turns it into a drug of the most irresistible sorts.
It was, ultimately, a dumb decision but was understandable, given our collective dumbness towards deals of this nature. Like Madoff’s cooked statements or the crumbling faux-Ionic columns in the McMansions outside Phoenix or Tampa, the returns on this investment were all an illusion, dreamed up by a populous too willing to believe in the magic but too afraid to ask how.
The summer of our discontent
As the price of gasoline in the U.S. pulls itself up to $4/gallon, and the realities of our poor housing, transport, and investment choices set in, I’m glad to see that we as a nation are slowly coming around. Mass transit ridership is up, the Hummer and its ilk are dying a much-welcomed death, and even the shill of the auto industry has made predictions about a decline in travel.
If one was, say, a presidential candidate, now might be a good time to make note of the unreality of our previous way of life, note the positives that higher gas prices can bring, and propose setting a floor on gas prices.
On second thought, one might be wise to keep this plan hush-hush until after one has obtained the office. Selling this plan while campaigning presupposes an electorate with enough brains to realize the benefits.
But what the government can’t, or won’t, accomplish, the market will, for better or for worse. I think the ratchet effect is in full swing. $3/gallon gas, we hardly knew you: $4 is here to stay. It’s just a shame that we couldn’t have realized this earlier, skimmed a bit off the top, and done a better job of preparing ourselves for a different way of life.
Absurdities
Ken Jennings writes the funniest thing I’ve read today, so far:
Hey, Sudan, where were the riots in 2005 when the Chicago Bears signed Muhsin Muhammad? A bears a bear, right? Im just saying.
New word Wednesday: Scandicap
Because my words are obviously too good for the crap at Urban Dictionary, all future additions that I make to the lexicon will be done here.
I’ve been thinking about my latest creation for some time. It finally came to me as I left the grocery store after standing in line behind a girl who took 5 minutes to buy a gallon of milk and some bananas.
scan · di · cap; n. –pped — Mental/physical ailment that prevents individuals from completing commercial transactions using self-service checkout lines or kiosks.
I’m sorry I took so long at the grocery store. I was stuck behind some scandicapped people.
It’s a gift, I tell you.
No-think zone
Congratulations, America. You are now so pussywhipped by terror alert levels and fear mongering that a circuit board and some LEDs now garners a response more suited for a small war.
Martha Coakley, Massachusetts Attorney General, had this to say about the devices:
“It had a very sinister appearance,” Coakley told reporters. “It had a battery behind it, and wires.”
Batteries? And wires? Holy Al-Qaeda, Batman!
More fun: Haircuts in the 70’s. Performance art at its best. What better way to fight absurdity than with more absurdity? I hope to see more from these guys.
As expected, Digg has some snarky comments on the situation. This one is a favorite of mine.
Sweet justice?
My shining moment as an amateur lexicographer came to a screeching halt. Inspired by the opening of two cupcake shops in Pittsburgh and the $3 obscenities at Whole Foods, I came up with what I, and many others, believed to be an apt name for the goods these shops sell: yupcakes.
Sadly, it was not meant to be.
Tightening the noose
It should come as no surprise that the reprieve from the high gas prices of the Hurricane Katrina era is at its end. After falling back from a high of $71 a barrel, prices are almost back up to their former high, closing at over $65 a barrel yesterday.
I think we have seen the last of consistently sub-$2/gallon gasoline. And prices starting with “2” might just be a passing fancy on the way to something higher.
Why? Supply and demand dictate price. The world’s never-ending lust for oil coupled with the tightest spare production capacity ever seen makes for a volatile market that can’t go anywhere but up.
Global disruptions in the oil market from natural disasters or wars are one thing. But when a single country — let alone a group of militants — can cause such a rush on the market, things are in pretty bad shape.
Playing it out
Hurricane Katrina has proven itself to be quite a juggernaut, decimating a great city, and bringing our civilized society face-to-face with some of its basest, most animalistic proclivities. New Orleans has been turned into a third-world country and is unlikely to come back as the magnificent place it once was.
Amidst all of this, of course, people are still finding ways to complain about their own well being, chief among them being the price of gas necessary to keep their ostentatious way of life afloat.
People are dying in the streets. A city is falling apart. People are thirsty, starving, looting, and shooting each other. And people complain about how their commute is killing their budget? Seriously.
Take your goddamn quality of life and send it somewhere that needs it. We could be at the start of a new age, and it behooves us to become concerned with each other again.
Ah, America
We’re a great bunch, America. Not content to just continue to put off the realization that our oil supplies are peaking, Americans are pulling out the plastic in increasing numbers to finance their piggish, misbegotten ways.
The crazies are at it again
From today’s front page of the Post-Gazette:
I think we’re regressing.
